fuNctioN cReeP

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Venn Diagram Compares Three People Who 'Get Paid To Touch Your Junk'

3 people who get paid to touch your junk...
via likepeterose

Written at 2:49 AM by rene - PermaLink

1 comments

1 Comments:

Anonymous said...

Very touching diagram, makes me feel like groping my balls is of a special nature when a "professional" fondles them with care, because, you know, it matters to them that they are properly massaged, er, inspected. Oh fuck it: they all like playing with my balls. Can you blame them ? Balls.

5:31 AM

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fuNctioN cReeP: is what occurs when an item, process, or procedure designed for a specific purpose ends up serving another purpose for which it was never planned to perform.

Big Brother: an entity that is able to watch over all our actions in a unknown restrictive, controlling way with covert technology or other clandestine activities. It is commonly used to refer to a fear of the day when we will have zero privacy, due to government surveillance and personal accurate knowledge. The term was born from George Orwell's book "1984" where a government controls its citizens through continual surveillance.

The 4th Amendment: "The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized."

Panopticon: first used by Jeremy Bentham as an architectual model in designing a prison. The concept follows that you could save money by building a circular prison with a singular tower in the middle for the guard. By keeping the guard in the dark and all the prisoners in the light, those being guarded could not tell when they were being watched.

Surveillance: In the middle ages, Surveillance was a man on a horse who was called a "scout." Now surveillance includes satellite imagery and aerial photography, sometimes from unmanned aircraft, and computer network hacking. Some more common, everyday surveillance techniques include eavesdropping, dumpster diving, video monitoring, and RFID.

Biometrics: automated methods of recognizing a person based on a physiological or behavioral characteristic. Among the features measured are; face, fingerprints, hand geometry, handwriting, iris, retinal, vein, and voice. Biometric technologies are becoming the foundation of an extensive array of highly secure identification and personal verification solutions.

Iris Scanning is a method of biometric identification; pattern recognition is used to determine the identity of the subject. Iris scans create high-resolution images of the irides of the eye; IR illumination is used to reduce specular reflection from the cornea. The iris itself is a "good subject" for biometric identification, because it is an internal organ that is well protected, it is mostly flat and it has a fine texture that is unique even for identical twins.

RFID stands for Radio Frequency IDentification, a technology that uses tiny computer chips smaller than a grain of sand to track items at a distance. RFID "spy chips" have been hidden in the packaging of Gillette razor products and in other products you might buy at a local Wal-Mart, Target, or Tesco - and they are already being used to spy on people.

The VeriChip passive RFID device is the core of key VeriChip applications. About the size of a grain of rice, each VeriChip contains a unique verification number, which can be used to access a Subscriber-supplied database providing specific information. Once implanted just under the skin, via a quick, painless outpatient procedure (much like getting a shot), the VeriChip can be scanned when necessary with a proprietary VeriChip scanner. A small amount of radio frequency energy passes from the scanner energizing the dormant VeriChip, which then emits a radio frequency signal transmitting the individuals unique verification (VeriChipID) number.